Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples that a man only becomes religious when he is able to forgive his parents. Most of us know that this is not so easy and the reason why, is that we have copied our parents in many ways as they have copied their parents in many ways.
We have inherited their genes, often their behaviour and if you are observant enough you will notice many mannerisms in your daily life; sometimes the way you hold your cup of tea, sometimes how you plan in advance, how you walk, how you spend too much or too little and how you tend to treat others especially your loved ones.
So forgiving is very difficult indeed and when you do realise what has been done to you in the name of love, it is sometimes almost impossible to forgive your parents because they have done so many things to you, sometimes unknowingly and sometimes knowingly.
All we have to do is to look very directly and honestly at our lives and see that we have mostly been given a fixed pattern to live by and what is more a plan to live by and it is not our own plan, although we think it is.
All the religions and society say we should respect our parents and love them but the reason is not what we might suspect. The reason society says this is so we do not question the truth of its advice but simply obey without questioning why we should do this at all.
Society wants obedient servants not rebellious individuals.
Everyone is seeking direction and our whole education has taught us that we should reach some sort of destination, so the journey in between has not only been overlooked but completely undervalued.
Spontaneity has not been allowed and taking risks has not been encouraged either; we will have to start learning the ways of taking risks and dropping much of the logic we have had ingrained in us and which has forced the heart to be totally silent; silent at the expense of our soul’s and our life’s blood.
To begin this journey we will have to learn the art of saying “No” to our parents on matters upon which our entire life depends; matters such as religion, travel, love, health, vocation, music, friends, passion, and much more.
Once we have learned to say “No,” we can then learn the art of saying “Yes,” but not until then.
The rest is up to you.
Chris Borrett
Image Credit- FreeImages.com:Johanna Ljungblom
If by chance, you have not encountered my previous posts outside this blog, one of my favourites is about “A Woman’s Labour of Love.” You have the luxury of reading it by clicking here.