When it comes down to the wire we first must differentiate between personalities, looks, body types, values, beliefs, experience or temperaments. Psychologist Lynn McCutcheon (1991 ) found that 77% of undergraduates agreed that opposites attract in relationships. Author Tim Lahaye in his very popular book, titled “Opposites Attract,” said that two people of the same temperament repel, they don’t attract and almost never get married.
It all depends what you’re trying to prove; some of the dating sites say that compatibility breeds boredom and in many cases this seems to ring true because initially the difference in temperament, beliefs and even culture can be exciting and stimulating and highly sexual. It gets interesting where many other research studies have shown that people with similar personality traits are more likely to be attracted to each other than people with dissimilar personality traits.
Apparently similarity in personality traits is not just a good indicator of initial attraction but it is also a good indicator of marital stability (not sure whether this is an alive state) and happiness, which must be a good thing.
When I think of the phrase “Opposites Attract,” I think of the very opposite mix of Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller. That marriage was fated but it did get off the ground which is something miraculous indeed. The ‘like attracts like’ premise extends to the values we all have as well as the attitudes we carry, to a deeper connection with each other, such as a spiritual or special connection.
I have my own understanding, if somewhat limited by my own bias and would have to say that from my experience, a loving relationship (solid is not the right word, too much like concrete) does not imply that two people will agree on anything, let alone everything, but there does have to be some sort of real understanding of the other and more specifically a little understanding of their own nature, what to say about human nature.
If we don’t have such an understanding we will always be thinking that we have the slant on life or perspective on things and everyone else is wrong.
How can any relationship of substance be worth anything if we don’t give respect to the values and opinions of another, even if we don’t agree? Perhaps it is about us surrendering our need to be right.
Image Credit-FreeImages.com:Tracy Scott-Murray
Chris Borrett
If by chance, you have not encountered my previous posts outside this blog, one of my favourites is about “How To Make A Decision and Stick To It”. You have the luxury of reading it by clicking here.